Screw You, People In-the-Know.  Screw You! I Found the Perfect Gifts.

Quentin Parker’s The Universal Code of (Formerly) Unwritten Rules, Meghan Rowland & Chris Turner-Neal’s The Misanthrope’s Guide to Life (Go Away!), and A Miscellany of Murder, by the Monday Murder Club

There is a certain sort of person I can’t stand.  You know the type I’m talking about. The one who effortlessly rattles off a list of restaurants in response to a breathless comment like, ‘Oh, I could really go for some vegan Peruvian tonight.’  The one who gets the perfect gift — you know, the gift that gets at the essence of the recipient’s personality, or captures the significance of the occasion for giving the gift.  When you see the gift, you’re stupefied.  You might even smack yourself on the forehead like in the V-8 commercials.  It’s like one of those self-evident truths — when you see it, you think, ‘Duh, that’s so obvious.  Why the hell didn’t I think of that?’  That person.  The one who makes you feel like an idiot — or more properly, whose very existence is a constant reminder of the fact that, compared with this person, you are an idiot.

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